As I sit here writing this reflectionessay, I’m aware that it is the second day after Spring Festival and the Yearof the Rat. Spring festival is acelebration of the end of a season as we transition from winter intospring. It is also the end of the year andthis year being the Year of the Rat, signifies the beginning of another twelve-yearcycle of the Chinese Zodiac. So it is atime of transitions. The irony is ofcourse that we are rather immobile during the transience of this holiday seasonbecause of the coronavirus. Howtroublesome and inconvenient.
我正坐在這兒著手寫這篇值得深思的論文,我意識(shí)到這是鼠年春節(jié)的第二天。春節(jié)是一個(gè)慶祝由冬天過(guò)渡到春天的節(jié)日。這也是中國(guó)農(nóng)歷中上一個(gè)十二生肖周期的結(jié)束,和新的十二生肖中農(nóng)歷子鼠年的伊始。
所以這是一個(gè)過(guò)渡時(shí)期。但與之相反的是在這個(gè)假期里由于冠狀病毒,人們正在經(jīng)歷短暫的隔離期??梢韵胂筮@是多么的令人煩惱和不便。
On the other hand, is there ever aconvenient time for suffering and sickness to befall us? It is times like this that we realize that weare not in control of things as much as we like. We’d like to think that we’re in control butwe’re not. Certainly we need a modicumof control to live our lives but I’m reminiscent of a popular saying in Englishthat reminds us that Men Plan, God Laughs. I have plans to visit my loved ones this week and then travel to thePhilippines to conduct a retreat. Thepossibility that these plans are in jeopardy is not at all a laughingmatter. It is troublesome and anxietyprovoking. How risky will it be for meto travel? I don’t know. The news changes on a daily basis. What is funny and perhaps even absurd is theillusion that things will always go according to my plan. Intellectually of course, I know this is notthe case. However, in my heart, I loatheto surrender myself to this sense of unpredictability and perhaps a granderplan in place.
另一方面,是否有一個(gè)合適或者方便的時(shí)間讓疾病和痛苦降臨在我們身上呢?其實(shí)正是在現(xiàn)在這樣的時(shí)代,我們能意識(shí)到自己無(wú)法控制我們想要的東西。我們想讓自己認(rèn)為一切都在掌控之中但其實(shí)并沒(méi)有。
我們也當(dāng)然需要一些控制才能過(guò)上我們的生活,這使我想起來(lái)一句流行的英文諺語(yǔ):“人們計(jì)劃著,上帝卻在嘲笑著?!本拖裎矣?jì)劃了這周去看看我的親人,然后去菲律賓靜修。這些計(jì)劃面臨的危險(xiǎn)性不是開(kāi)玩笑的事情,這非常麻煩,也非常令人不安和擔(dān)憂。
這個(gè)旅程會(huì)有多冒險(xiǎn)?我不知道。新聞每天都在改變和更新。而有趣而荒謬的一種幻想確是,覺(jué)得事情總會(huì)按照自己的計(jì)劃進(jìn)行。當(dāng)然從理智上來(lái)說(shuō),我知道情況并非如此。然而,在我的內(nèi)心深處,我不愿讓自己屈服于這種不可預(yù)測(cè)性,或許還有一個(gè)更宏偉的計(jì)劃。
The Chinese idiom reminds us thatcrisis contain both danger and opportunities. The coronavirus has brought about inconvenience and much anxiety anduncertainty. It awakened us to ourexistence. Rollo May, the imminentAmerican existential psychologist (teacher, colleague and therapist to IrvinYalom) reminded us in his book The Meaning of Anxiety that “Anxiety is not an affect, among otheraffects such as pleasure or sadness. Itis rather an ontological characteristic of man, rooted in his very existence .. . It is not a peripheral threat which I can take or leave or a reaction whichmay be classified among other reactions; it is always a threat to thefoundations, the center of my existence. Anxiety is the experience of the threat of imminent non-being.” [1] Similarly, the UK based existentialpsychologist Ernesto Spinelli wrote that:
中國(guó)有句俗語(yǔ)告訴我們,危機(jī)中蘊(yùn)藏著危險(xiǎn)和機(jī)遇。冠狀病毒給人們帶來(lái)了不便,也帶來(lái)了很多焦慮和不確定性。它喚醒了我們的存在。羅洛·梅是一位美國(guó)存在主義心理學(xué)家(歐文·亞龍的老師、同事和治療師),在他的著作《焦慮的意義》中提醒我們:
“ 焦慮不是一種情感,不是如愉悅或悲傷之類的情感。它是人類的一種根植于存在之中的本體特征… 它不是一種我們可以接受或離開(kāi)的外部威脅;也不是一種可以被歸類的反應(yīng);它始終對(duì)我們存在的根基和中心構(gòu)成威脅。焦慮是對(duì)即將來(lái)臨的‘不存在’而產(chǎn)生的威脅體驗(yàn)?!?/p>
類似地,英國(guó)存在主義心理學(xué)家埃內(nèi)斯托·斯皮內(nèi)利寫道:
Existential-phenomenological theory presents us with a viewof human existence that places anxiety as its center. It suggests that our experience of living isnever certain, never predictable, never secure. Instead, our very embracing of life presents us with all manner of ‘challenges’: challenges to the meanings we have built upand live by, challenges to the aims and purposes with which we imbue our lives,challenges, indeed, to the very continuation of our existence. [2] Our response to any or all of thesechallenges can range from the attempt to create a protected environment thatwill repel any perceived threats to our sense of physical or psychologicalsecurity, to the undertaking to foster a chaotic lifestyle which,paradoxically, fixes its meaning and purposes upon the unwavering belief that ‘a(chǎn)llis meaningless’. Whatever the response,however, what is significant is that the response itself expresses thestance we take toward our relations with the world. It is, in a sense, our unique ‘language’ throughwhich we engage in dialogue both with ourselves and others.
存在主義現(xiàn)象理論為我們提供了一個(gè)以焦慮為中心的人類存在的視角。它表明,我們的生活經(jīng)歷從來(lái)都是不確定的,不可預(yù)測(cè)的,不安全的。相反,我們擁抱著的生命給我們提出各種各樣的“挑戰(zhàn)”:
挑戰(zhàn)我們已經(jīng)建立和賴以生存的生命意義,挑戰(zhàn)我們一直以來(lái)被灌輸?shù)年P(guān)于生活的目標(biāo)和目的。
挑戰(zhàn),事實(shí)上是我們存在的延續(xù)。我們對(duì)任何或所有這些挑戰(zhàn)的反應(yīng)范圍,從試圖創(chuàng)建一個(gè)受保護(hù)的環(huán)境,以擊退任何可感知的對(duì)我們身心安全感的威脅,到致力于養(yǎng)成一種混亂的生活方式,這反而將其意義和目的建立在“一切都是無(wú)意義的”這一堅(jiān)定不移的信念之上。
然而,無(wú)論作出何種反應(yīng),重要的是反應(yīng)本身表達(dá)了我們對(duì)與世界關(guān)系的立場(chǎng)。從某種意義上講,這是我們獨(dú)特的“語(yǔ)言”,通過(guò)它,我們既與自己對(duì)話,也與他人對(duì)話。
In the existential framework, anxietyis so riveted to existence that it has a different connotation from the wayanxiety is regarded in other frames of reference. The existential therapisthopes to alleviate crippling levels of anxiety but not to eliminate it. Lifecannot be lived (nor can death be faced) without anxiety.
在存在主義框架中,焦慮與存在如此緊密地聯(lián)系在一起,以至于它的內(nèi)涵與在其他參照系中看待焦慮的方式不同。存在主義治療師希望減輕嚴(yán)重的焦慮,但不是消除它。沒(méi)有焦慮,生命就無(wú)法存在(死亡也無(wú)法面對(duì))。
The therapist’s task, as Rollo Mayteaches us is to reduce anxiety to tolerable levels and then to use the anxietyconstructively. May wrote that: “Whatanxiety means is it's as though the world is knocking at your door, andyou need to create. You need to make something. You need to do something. And Ithink anxiety, thus, is for people who have found their own heart andtheir own souls. For them it is a stimulus toward creativity, towardcourage. It's what makes us human beings.” One of the ways that anxiety is knocking on my door and thus beseechingme for a response is the writing of this essay. It is part of my stance and response to my own existential anxiety thatis awakened by the coronavirus. Takingmy cue from May, writing this essay reminds me that anxiety can be bothcrippling and empowering. Thatcreativity not medication is the response to anxiety as it comes knocking on mydoor.
正如羅洛·梅教給我們的,治療師的任務(wù)是將焦慮降低到可承受的水平,然后建設(shè)性地利用這種焦慮。梅寫道:焦慮意味著,就好像世界在敲你的門,你需要?jiǎng)?chuàng)造。你需要制作些東西。你需要去做些事情。
因此,我認(rèn)為焦慮是為那些找到了自己的心和靈魂的人準(zhǔn)備的。對(duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō),焦慮是對(duì)創(chuàng)造力和勇氣的一種刺激。焦慮使得我們?nèi)祟愔猿蔀槿祟悺=箲]敲著我的門,懇求我做出回應(yīng)的方式之一就是讓我來(lái)寫這篇文章。這是我的立場(chǎng)的一部分,也是我對(duì)自身存在的焦慮的回應(yīng),這種焦慮被冠狀病毒喚醒了。
我從梅那里得到了啟示,寫下這篇文章提醒我,焦慮雖會(huì)讓人崩潰,但也會(huì)讓人充滿力量。當(dāng)焦慮來(lái)敲門時(shí),對(duì)其的反應(yīng)應(yīng)該是用我的創(chuàng)造力而不是使用藥物。
Indeed this Spring Festival is quitedifferent from Spring Festivals of the past. It is not quite as festive as before. There is a somberness to the whole experience. I believe a large part of this is due to theanxiety of the times. The sombernessbrings about some dysphoria and heightens my sense of loneliness andisolation. Normally I relish the senseof solitude and tranquility that Beijing gifts to me during the Spring FestivalHolidays. I enjoy the uncongestedemptiness of the city as it affords me time to reflect and work on a fewwriting projects. But along with thisappreciation, I’m awakened to the co-existing isolation that is part of theemptiness. I know that I’m not alone inthis because this year, I see more lights on in residences that were emptybefore. I realize that I’m not the onlymigrant worker who is far from home. Furthermore, I cannot imagine what the people of Wuhan and other citiesmust be experiencing for they are quarantined and separated from their lovedones and face the prospect of a very uncertain near future. This brings to home for me that isolation isindeed an unavoidable part of existence. Yet ironically at the same time, knowing that I’m not alone inexperiencing my isolation brings a degree of comfort. So while I feel a strong sense ofhelplessness towards those who are quarantined, I want them to know that theyare not alone in their isolation.
的確,這個(gè)春節(jié)和以往大不同,沒(méi)有了以前節(jié)慶的歡鬧氛圍,給人感覺(jué)很陰郁。相信這很大部分是因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在的時(shí)局造成的。這種陰郁的氛圍讓人焦燥不安,同時(shí)也加深了我的孤獨(dú)感和隔離感。往年,我喜歡北京春節(jié)期間帶給我的孤獨(dú)和寧?kù)o,它讓我有自由時(shí)間來(lái)完成一些寫作項(xiàng)目。
然而,伴隨著這種對(duì)孤獨(dú)的欣賞,我被喚醒到共存的孤立中,那是空虛的一部分。今年,我知道我并不孤單,因?yàn)槲铱吹阶≌瑯抢镆酝履昶陂g黑漆漆的屋子里有了很多燈光。我意識(shí)到我不是唯一一個(gè)離家在外的工作者。
因此,我聯(lián)想到了武漢人及其他城市的人們正在經(jīng)受的一切,他們被迫隔離,與他們深愛(ài)的家人分開(kāi)而且不知道近期和未來(lái)局勢(shì)如何發(fā)展。
這讓我又意識(shí)到了孤獨(dú)是生存中不可缺少的一部分。然而,讓人啞然失笑的是,很多人和我一樣在這種隔離的孤獨(dú)中體會(huì)到了一些舒適。所以,我們要告知那些被隔離的人這種微妙的舒適感,而非強(qiáng)化他們強(qiáng)烈的無(wú)助感。
Taoists, existential philosophers andpsychologists teach me that life and death are not sequential but simultaneousand interdependent. It is not so muchthat death follows life and that Spring follows Winter. Instead, the seeds of life are buried in thebarren trees of my nearby park and the leaves that drop from their brancheswill fertilize the foliage that will arrive in the Spring. This reminds me of the quote by the Frenchexistential philosopher Albert Camus that “in the depth of winter, I foundwithin myself an invincible summer.” Peopleand life are resilient. One of the mainquestions that is being researched right now is how virulent and resilient isthe coronavirus. In the midst of thisinvestigation, let us not forget that people can be exceptionally resilient aswell. Having a sustaining meaning tolive for, the vast majority of people are able to endure great suffering andwill bounce back from trauma. Comparisons are made between the SARS crisis in 2003 and even the 2008 earthquakein Sichuan. I recall images of rows uponrows of temporary housing set up for the displaced survivors near the center ofthe earthquake. Most of them have nowreconstituted their lives though I’m sure the scars from the earthquake remain. I lived and worked in Southern China duringthe SARS crisis and recall the contrast between the people in Hong Kong whowere nearly all masked with the people near Guangzhou who were not. Now as I walk around Beijing, the majority ofthe people are wearing masks. We’velearned and now relate to death anxiety differently. The SARS epidemic tested and strengthened ourresilience. I had in friend in Hong Kongwho flew for Cathay Pacific which nearly went bankrupt as the result of theSARS epidemic. Out of necessity, theairlines give him a choice of leaving the airlines or remain for a significantreduction in salary. Lean timesindeed. It was a painful time for myfriend to ponder how great was his love of flying or perhaps it was a time tomove on to a different career. Hedecided to remain with the airlines. Inthe midst of the crisis, he found within himself an invincible summer for neverdid he believe he would be so severely tested or how little he could actuallylive on.
道家、存在主義哲學(xué)家和心理學(xué)家教導(dǎo)我生與死不是順序的,而是同時(shí)的、相互依存的。與其說(shuō)死亡緊跟著生命,不如說(shuō)春天緊跟著冬天。相反,生命的種子被埋在我附近公園的光禿禿的樹上,從樹枝上掉落的葉子會(huì)給春天到來(lái)的樹葉施肥。
這讓我想起了法國(guó)存在主義哲學(xué)家阿爾貝·加繆(AlbertCamus)的一句話:“在隆冬時(shí)節(jié),我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己內(nèi)心有一個(gè)不可戰(zhàn)勝的夏天?!薄叭撕蜕疃际怯许g性的?!?/p>
目前研究的主要問(wèn)題之一是冠狀病毒的毒性和適應(yīng)性。在調(diào)查的過(guò)程中,讓我們不要忘記,人也可以具有非凡的適應(yīng)力。大多數(shù)人都有一個(gè)持續(xù)的生活意義,他們能夠忍受巨大的痛苦,并從創(chuàng)傷中恢復(fù)過(guò)來(lái)。
人們將2003年的非典危機(jī)與2008年的四川地震相提并論。
我回想起在地震中心附近為流離失所的幸存者搭建的一排排臨時(shí)房屋的畫面。他們中的大多數(shù)現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)重建了他們的生活,盡管我相信地震留下的傷疤還在。
在非典危機(jī)期間,我在中國(guó)南方生活和工作,回想起香港人幾乎都戴著口罩與廣州附近的人不戴口罩的對(duì)比?,F(xiàn)在,當(dāng)我在北京四處走動(dòng)時(shí),大多數(shù)人都戴著口罩。我們已經(jīng)學(xué)過(guò)了,現(xiàn)在對(duì)死亡焦慮有了不同的理解。非典疫情檢驗(yàn)了我們的應(yīng)變能力。
我在香港有一個(gè)朋友,他是國(guó)泰的空乘人員,由于非典疫情,國(guó)泰航空公司差點(diǎn)破產(chǎn)。出于必要,航空公司給了他一個(gè)選擇,要么離開(kāi)航空公司,要么留下大幅減薪。的確是不景氣。
對(duì)我的朋友來(lái)說(shuō),那是一段痛苦的時(shí)光,他開(kāi)始思考自己對(duì)飛行的熱愛(ài)有多深,或許是時(shí)候換一份不同的職業(yè)了。他決定留在航空公司。在這場(chǎng)危機(jī)中,他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己內(nèi)心有一個(gè)不可戰(zhàn)勝的夏天,因?yàn)樗麖奈聪嘈抛约簳?huì)受到如此嚴(yán)峻的考驗(yàn),也從未相信自己可以靠如此少的資源生活。
The SARS epidemic left its marks uponme as well. I was travelling betweenTaiwan and Southern China at that time for work. Consequently, I carried on a long-distancerelationship with my girlfriend who remained in Taiwan. As the SARS epidemic intensified, we wereforced to be separated due to fact that I would have been quarantined for aperiod of time were I to return to Taiwan. This extensive period of separation put an end to our relationship. It’s tempting to blame SARS for our breakupbut it is more accurate to say that our relationship was not resilient enoughto survive SARS. The breakup of therelationship took place during the forced separation. She told me via the phone that she had foundsomeone else. I remember taking numerouslong walks as I worked through the pain and grief of the end of thatrelationship. Yet I too survived thebreakup and the SARS epidemic. We areall much more resilient than we think and looking back, I now know that thereis a grander plan in place.
非典也在我身上留下了印記。當(dāng)時(shí)我在臺(tái)灣和華南地區(qū)奔波出差,因此,不得不和留在臺(tái)灣的女朋友開(kāi)始了異地戀??墒请S著非典疫情的加劇,我們無(wú)法重聚,因?yàn)槿绻一氐脚_(tái)灣,我將被隔離一段時(shí)間。這段長(zhǎng)期的分離讓我們的戀愛(ài)關(guān)系走到了盡頭。
表面上,將我們的分手歸咎于“非典”似乎再合適不過(guò)了,但更準(zhǔn)確的說(shuō)法是,我們的關(guān)系沒(méi)有足夠的“免疫力”來(lái)挺過(guò)“非典”。這段關(guān)系是在被迫分居期間破裂的,她打電話告訴我說(shuō)她已經(jīng)找到了新的對(duì)象。
我還記得那次分手帶給我的傷痛讓我久久無(wú)法釋懷,我經(jīng)常出門散步,一走就是好半天。然而,最終我不僅挺過(guò)了分手還挺過(guò)了非典疫情。我們都比自己想象的更有韌性。現(xiàn)在回想起來(lái),我深感這里一定有一個(gè)更宏偉的計(jì)劃正在醞釀中。
I’m learning more about surrenderingto the mystery that is beyond me. Let ustake this day by day and cherish what we have. I cannot imagine what it is like to have lost a loved one to thecoronavirus. Yet I’m reminded that on adaily basis, we’ve all lost loved ones to disease and old age. It is not only the coronavirus that leaves usquarantined, inconvenienced and unable to travel. A severe cold will do the same, not tomention cancer. I write this not tobelittle the seriousness of the current crisis. That would be foolish. Insteadwhat I wish to share is how the current crisis has at time awakened me fromwhat the German existential philosopher Martin Heidegger termed my everydaymode of existence to a more ontological mode of existence. One in which I “marvels not about the waythings are but that they are.” A mode of existence where I am “authentic,responsible for choice, aware and transcendent. Embracing my possibilities and limits; facingabsolute freedom and nothingness – and is anxious in the face of them.”
我正在學(xué)習(xí)向我無(wú)法想象的神秘力量臣服。讓我們?nèi)諒?fù)一日地珍惜我們所擁有的,我無(wú)法想象在冠狀病毒感染下失去親人的感覺(jué)。但現(xiàn)在我每天都被提醒著,我們都會(huì)因疾病和年老而失去親人。不僅是冠狀病毒讓我們被隔離、不便和無(wú)法旅行,重感冒也一樣,更不用說(shuō)癌癥了。我寫這篇文章不是為了貶低當(dāng)前危機(jī)的嚴(yán)重性,那太愚蠢了。
相反,我想分享的是當(dāng)前的危機(jī)是如何使我從德國(guó)存在主義哲學(xué)家馬丁·海德格爾所說(shuō)的我日常生活方式的存在到更具本體論的存在方式,一個(gè)讓我“驚奇的不是事物存在的方式,而是它們的存在本身”。一種我是“真實(shí)的、對(duì)選擇負(fù)責(zé)任的、有意識(shí)的、卓越的的存在方式,擁抱我的可能性和極限;面對(duì)絕對(duì)的自由和虛無(wú)——面對(duì)他們是感到焦慮的?!?/p>
Finally, a colleague and friendrecently shared this poem with me which nearly moved me to tears. I’d like to share this poem with you as a wayto bring an end this this essay. It istitled For All of Us: For Those Who HaveFar to Travel by Jan Richardson. It isbeautiful and most likely the poet’s own response to the existential anxietyknocking on his door.
最后,一位同事兼朋友近期給我分享了這首詩(shī),讓我潸然淚下。在此,將這首詩(shī)和大家分享,以此作為這篇論文的結(jié)尾。詩(shī)名《給大家:致遠(yuǎn)行者》,作者賈恩·理查森。詩(shī)詞優(yōu)美,也很可能是當(dāng)“存在主義焦慮”敲他的門時(shí),詩(shī)人自己所做出的反應(yīng)。
作者:楊吉膺(Mark Yang)。美國(guó)注冊(cè)臨床心理學(xué)家,國(guó)際存在-人本心理學(xué)院院長(zhǎng),美國(guó)塞布魯克大學(xué)心理學(xué)教授,專業(yè)領(lǐng)域包括:個(gè)體及團(tuán)體咨詢、哀傷及喪親輔導(dǎo)、臨床工作有法律及倫理道德議題、跨文化心理學(xué)等。
翻譯組:楊眉/何睿璇/陳瓊/李俊杰/黃準(zhǔn)/周莉娜/劉珍/吳于勤/李丹燕/劉豌/劉妮(排名不分先后)
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